Can I invite two mates who hate one another to my celebration?


DEAR ABBY: Two of my finest mates had been dwelling collectively after which that they had an argument. There wasn’t an enormous explosion, however feelings ultimately led one to inform the opposite they did not wish to be mates anymore. A number of years have handed and their relationship has not mended. They’ve many mates in frequent, in order that they know they are going to nonetheless see one another often.

I will have a celebration and I’ve invited two. What’s the etiquette right here? Ought to I am going out of my option to let each of them know the opposite is coming? I do not wish to shock them, however on the identical time I fear that telling them will probably be somewhat dramatic. They’re each adults who can deal with it, I feel. – NERVOUS HOSTESS IN OREGON

DEAR HOSTS: There isn’t any rule of etiquette that claims it’s a must to manage your visitor listing based on potential company. There isn’t any want to lift the subject with any of them. Such as you mentioned, these persons are adults and may be capable of deal with themselves correctly. Ship your invites and revel in your celebration!

DEAR ABBY: My father had a stroke. My siblings and I (the three of us) wanted somebody to maintain him as all of us work full time. I requested my stepson, “Miles”, who lived in Tennessee, if he might assist us by transferring to Washington State and caring for Dad in the course of the day (Miles works nights), on condition that Dad wanted 24/7 care. My siblings and I did not wish to take him to a nursing dwelling.

Inside two weeks, Miles left his life in Tennessee behind and moved throughout the nation to assist. Since he was serving to us, we didn’t ask him to pay lease. Her generosity saved us 1000’s of {dollars} in nursing dwelling charges, and Dad was a lot happier dwelling at dwelling.

My father handed away earlier this yr and my siblings and I are within the technique of promoting the home. Miles nonetheless lives at dwelling with me as a result of I inherited Dad’s two canines. She takes care of the canines and such whereas I do not for varied causes. He has been an amazing assist and I’ve but to ask him to pay lease contemplating his sacrifice to serve our wants throughout this disaster. The issue is that my sister thinks that Miles now has to pay lease till the home is offered. My brother and I disagree. My brother says if it is okay with me, it is okay with him.

I really feel like I am “paying it ahead” for the assistance Miles has given not solely to us, however to our dad as properly. He earns minimal wage and pays half of the utilities and many of the meals. Asking her for lease till we promote the home is egocentric of me contemplating she selflessly gave up her former life for my household. Am I flawed to not ask him for lease? We anticipate to promote the home in six months or much less. – LEADERSHIP NEEDED IN WASHINGTON

DEAR REQUIRED. Your stepson is selfless and beneficiant. I do not assume he ought to pay to stay with you underneath these circumstances, so stand your floor. Nevertheless, I feel Miles ought to significantly think about getting a job that pays him greater than “minimal” wage, as a result of he will want a roof over his head in six months when your dad’s home sells. Please encourage her to do that, and if she must train to achieve her objectives, encourage her to take action.

Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at or PO Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.


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